Barry Desmond is a wanker. Masturbation has formed the unwelcome backdrop to his life; from his early teens when he was tortured by the belief he was the only one of his peer group doing this thing to himself to the current day when he thinks he must be the only man over 50 still doing it. Barry was the only child born to parents whose own marriage was borne of desperation. Smothered by his parents' over protective eccentricity his schooldays were difficult and coupled with the guilt over his burgeoning self-abuse, Barry fails to form relationships outside of the family home. He follows his father into a clerical career with the Empire Bank and finds his feet to an extent. He ends up under-achieving by running the Archives Department but eventually doubles it size by employing Danny Holloway as his assistant. For the next twenty-five years the two men manage to keep their heads below the corporate parapet and at home Barry watches as old age engulfs his parents.Then seismic events upturn Barry's life. His parents die in quick succession and the Empire Bank is seen as a relic of old Britain and is taken over by the Americans. Barry's job disappears along with his family. Stricken by acute loneliness but blessed with relative inherited and accumulated wealth he resolves to change his life. To go out into the world and form relationships and to live a life. He knows he has to interact with people other than himself and forces himself to do so. Barry's shares the ethos of his parents' generation and believes that people are fundamentally decent. But is this really the case in the 21st century? Despite being ill-equipped for an entry into 2000s British society Barry Desmond emerges as the only hero in this final episode of his life.