Charles Braun has been trying to make his exit from the world since the day he arrived with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck. At least that's what his mother always said. While most people keep bucket lists, Charles maintains something far more impressive: a meticulously curated catalog of things he has not done. No skinny dipping. No all-nighters. No speeding tickets, no passports, no hangovers. He's skipped Gone with the Wind, Star Wars, and, in a feat of near-mythic restraint, even porn. If life is a buffet, Charles has spent six decades politely declining to fill his plate. But when he loses his only family member in advance of his sixtieth birthday, Charles is forced to ask whether it's finally time to opt out of life . . . or officially time to opt in. A call to a hotline connects him with Maeve, a graduate student whose advice is equal parts baffling and possibly life-altering. As Charles, under Maeve's guidance, stumbles toward something resembling action, his story unfolds to a soundtrack of familiar songs and poetic wisdom-but will it be enough for him to hit replay on life? And will he finally be able to answer the existential question we all face: What am I doing here?