Sometimes one must die a thousand deaths before realizing that in the dying, life was kept hidden the whole time. If God's beauty and hope reside in a well of eternal depth, Both And is a collection of poems and prayers written while grasping for the water--narrowly holding onto a precious ounce while the rest slipped through fingers smeared with confession, depression, grief, and shame. Both And is for the reader who ... Is a griever, a confessor, a wallower, or a yearner. Has found themself in a place of tension, following Jesus with conviction yet walking at odds with the story of faith that's been told. Is a person of profound longing, yet grief and fear hold them back from opening their heart again. Step onto the path of paradox, where one's own both-and story is released from the grip of control and into the safety of God's loving presence. In the most painful endings, there is no need to exhaust oneself trying to hold it all together when all things are already being held by God. This is Ryan Pennington's story, and may readers find theirs in it too.